#ratio (autistic): oh fuck
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bananakeiky · 8 months ago
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Emotional boyfriend fiancé
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someverygaymoth · 5 months ago
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I love all of my moots, I would make them soup.
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alyakthedorklord · 2 years ago
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Chiroptophobia: the Fear of Bats.
Bruce Wayne is Scared of Bats. This is a Canon Fact.
In a difference from canon, Batman pretends to actually BE a bat man.
(Again, “Loading and Aspect Ratio” by JUBE514 situation with fake wings. Please go read it I love it so much.)
Bruce turns himself into a physical manifestation of his personal worst nightmares, and sets out to be a street cryptid. People see him flinching from bright lights and loud noises (he hasn’t slept in three days and he really hates guns) twitching weirdly (testing his wings function/stimming) not fully understanding human social niceties (you cannot tell me this man isn't Autistic) and, duh, wings, and go ah yes this being is Inhuman.
However, people KNOW Brucie Wayne™ is petrified of bats. There was an incident at a party when one flew through a window, another at a zoo, there was this one time Manbat showed up and he practically teleported away. No one saw him for a whole month, even after Batman had captured Manbat. (He got injured in the fight.)
By extension, this means that Bruce Wayne is afraid of Batman. Just- absolutely terrified of him. No ones seen them in the same place. Ever. Bruce Wayne actually publicly refuses to even believe in the cryptid for YEARS past when he's already been proven to exist.
When the Justice League gets called in to protect Bruce and his smattering of children from some plot (batman conspicuously absent, despite Gotham being his territory) Bruce straight up tells the league that he doesn’t believe in Batman, and he feels much safer with “real heroes” rather than “a urban legend spawned from overdramatic furries and gang wars.”
The justice league is, obviously, confused.
Certified little shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, (because we’re going with JUBE514’s canon and jason doesn’t die they’re all brothers f off-)
ANYWAYS: Certified Little Shits Dick, Jason, and Tim, ready for chaos/solidifying secret identities: “Don’t worry! We believe in batman! We saw him!” :D
They then proceed to tell the justice league that Bruce HAS met Batman, but he has a phobia of bats, so when Batman saved them at a gala Bruce screamed so loud and shrill he threw off the bat-hearing and then punched batman in the face so hard he knocked him out cold, grabbed then-baby Jason and ran. (Nightwing and the second Robin had to HEROICALLY rescue a dazed Batman, Dick saw it with his own eyes!)
Bruce was so scared of the bat coming to take revenge that he jumped at every shadow for a whole month. Why, Jason, (who was younger then) had slept in Bruce's bed to keep him safe! (Dick is crooning about his cute little brother. Jason, who is hitting his growth spurt and not a little kid anymore, is infinitely embarrassed.) Right now, Brucie has settled into firmly denying Batman’s entire existence so that he can sleep soundly at night.
“Why is he so scared of bats?” The Justice League is wondering. Oh, they are so glad they asked!
“Alfred told us a story once,” Dick says, eyes wide and innocent as he prepares to lie through his fucking teeth, “that when Bruce was little, really little, he got trapped in a cave filled with bats, and his dad had to come rescue him. Apparently, Little Bruce had been crying about a massive bat, even bigger than he was, with glowing red eyes and human hands and (gasp) wait oh my goodness gracious what if that was the BATMAN :0”
“The baby batman.” Jadon adds.
“Batboy?” Tim wonders.
“Alfred, do you think Bruce met Batman when they were little?” Dick asks.
“I believe,” Alfred “the greatest enabler” Pennyworth hums, offering fresh baked scones to thier gleeful audience, “that Master Bruce referred to what he saw as ‘the bat king’ and reported seeing him outside his window several times over the years.”
“Maybe it really was him! Will you ask Batman for us?” Tim asks, already planning to hack the watchtower cameras and set up some popcorn with his brothers.
The Justice League, who have learned more about the Batman in one conversation than they have over MANY years of working together, tell the Wayne children that it will be their Genuine Pleasure to quiz batman on his interactions with BRUCIE WAYNE who has, apparently, laid batman out cold with one punch.
Alfred adds on that he personally thinks the Batman is being rather courteous to Master Bruce, as “bat king” sightings were after “difficult times” and he doesn’t come near the manor otherwise, as robin had been the one to return some family heirlooms that one time they were stolen. He calls the batman and his robins “polite young gentlemen” and then leaves.
But now the gears are turning in the justice leagues heads. Batman? Courteous? Polite? Batman is not Courteous or Polite. Not unless something else is going on.
Now. From their point of view. Batman lives in the cave systems under the richest houses in Gotham, Phantom of the Opera style, hiding his meta form (because this batman is playing cryptid really well. Maybe he was a mutant baby of some Rich Gothamites, who threw him into the caves in shame!) He’s been watching Bruce Wayne, likely as he struggled with the highly reported on demise of his parents, seeing the effects that crime had on the boy that fell into his cave all those years ago. Batman has always been so protective of children, so hateful of guns, obviously the Wayne tragedy is part of what motivates him. He loves Gotham dearly, territorial of it to the point of keeping other heroes out, and yet he breaks that rule here, for Gotham's prince, solely for Bruce’s comfort.
Bruce, another person who obviously loves the city of Gotham just as much, putting millions into charity and relief efforts. Who is clearly very protective of his children, even if he usually has no spine, to the point of attacking his greatest fear to keep then safe, and good enough to land a hit, even. (Bruce Wayne is also considerably attractive.)
Its all so clear to the Justice League: Batman is madly in love with Bruce Wayne. Has been for years. To the point of watching him sleep, on occasion. How very tragic! Batman, in love with someone he can never be with! Not only would it paint a massive target on Bruce’s back if they ever did get together- there’s no questioning what Gotham villains would do if they discovered this, (and denying himself love out of an attempt to keep others safe is EXACTLY the kind of self-sacrificing nonsense Batman would pull) But Batman can’t even truly see the man he’s in love with without Brucie running away in terror! Well, the poor guy… how sad…
This conclusion can be supported by the following evidence-
Batman being the one to catch the guy who put the hit out on Bruce. He sent them to babysit/make sure Bruce was safe while dealt with the actual threat. (Bruce had a suspiciously long bathroom break/a nap)
Batman’s first appearance being right after Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham. Was the bat following him to protect him in those missing years? Or maybe he decided to clean up the city now that his beloved had returned?
Batman always being seen near where Bruce is. He’s never once been at the watchtower when Bruce has a public appearance- he must be watching over him, a silent guardian in case someone gets it in their head to kidnap Gotham’s Prince.
Batman insisting that Bruce is innocent in a corporate scheme, despite evidence to the contrary. (Hes right in the end, of course, but they’ve never seen him ignore evidence so clear.)
Batman casually referencing Wayne Tech/Foundation inner workings- he keeps an eye on them, of course. (If he can’t be close to the object of his affections, the league reasons, of course he’d make sure that Bruce’s company and projects are on the right track)
Nightwing, when asked, confirms the Bruce Punching Batman story. He says “honestly I think B was impressed! Caught him off guard!” (Since when does Batman lower his guard? Only when he’d be… distracted, perhaps…)
Superman saves Bruce, who thanks him with a kiss on the cheek. Later, justice league was teasing Clark, batman huffs and leaves the room. He’s CLEARLY jealous! Superman feels just awful!
Batman inexplicably knowing social dances/high society manners- he must have learned by watching (stalking) bruce! He can navigate high profile talk if he wants to, he just doesn’t want to most of the time. but if the situation calls for it he can talk like the Richest of Pricks in a way that only comes with observation.
Batman bristling when some of the league members start making Comments on Brucie Wayne’s Physical Attributes. (Jealousy? Defensiveness? Perhaps… embarrassment at GL’s detailed explanation on what he’d do with a chance in bed with Brucie.)
Batman absolutely freezing up when confronted with any of the above evidence. (He’s trying SO HARD not to laugh/go tell his kids)
Dick/Jason being big enough to wear the Bat-wings rather than thier own and be convincing- they save Bruce, though the man passes out (from fear? Blood loss from an injury? Perhaps- he is faking) and Dick/Jason, either out of genuine concern for their dad or general “how can i stir the pot” chaos, gently strokes his hair away from his face in an act of compassion that the cameras just so happen to catch. (There’s a few tears shed in the justice league- poor batman! He can’t be with his love!)
The robins (in both identities) telling the justice league that they've seen batman watching him.
“oh yeah he does background checks on aaaaaall bruces conquests. Had a conniption when brucie found a mafia boss that one time.”
“And when he found out Bruce and Two-face had a fling!”
(The league notes that often, if a criminal gets too close to Brucie, they’re put away not long after. B is usually collecting evidence in his civilian ID. But it looks like angry Batman wanted them to get the hell away from his mans.)
The Justice League is swooning over this tragic, forbidden love story. Batman is a little creepy but hey. He apparently grew up in a cave system. Its a wonder he's as well adjusted as he is. Batman has their sympathy, he seems less unflappable/untouchable, they’re a little more understanding with him now. Superman is all too happy to be a rebound, if needed. There are magic users offering glamour spells. Green Lantern is making exposure therapy innuendos.
The robins can’t believe how lucky they got. They’re def grounded but B can’t be too mad bc his secret identity is FUKIN SET.
Alfred is rather proud of Batman's new nickname in the league being “the bat king” and keeps sending batman along with cookies. The league thinks Batman is checking up on bruce with his butler. Its a mess.
Eventually, Batman loses a bet to one of his kids. Committing to the Bit with an exasperated sigh (he’s definitely not having fun, shut up jason.)
He admits to his crush.
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hoverboards-and-dragons · 4 months ago
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Having some fun with angel Lucifer, love this creature
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One hell of a sexual awakening after having to live in perfect sunny vanilla garden.
I don't think they were a love at first sight, they had to learn too many things about each other and themselves first (and if I have to watch Lucifer fall in love with a couple months old woman via creeping on her through the bushes one more time I'm going to blow; I honestly do find the age and power gap one of the most interesting things about them but boy do people not realize that's what they're writing sometimes) however, Lilith was lusting, sexualizing that angel before she knew his name.
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I prefer him real headstrong and secure in himself, a full leader of Heaven, just to really emphasize what the fall took from him.
He wasn't afraid of the things everyone else was, it made him an outcast, but it made him important. They called him a reckless danger and he'd roll his eyes and do it anyway, someone had to.
Then that big terrible consequence that always warned about came to be, and that feeling of safety was ripped from him. He was never convinced he was in the wrong, not really, they didn't need too, he was just too scared to be hurt again for it to matter.
its also a very autistic experience, ignoring social cues to his heart's content until he gets burned and switches to being hyper paranoid of them at all times.
He is a Weird Little Girl to me <3. Obsessed with the parts usually glossed over, he will explain duck cannibalism with all his love. No, sorry he didn't make the stars, that was he sibling, but he did handle the fucked up intersection of super massive Gravity and Time! if you wanna hear about that? Oh, or the poison clouds on Venus that give it its colour?
(dichotomy with Michael having extremely boring/tedious interests, he's the one mathematician making the sad face when you don't wanna hear about the weight ratios of water pumping between the Heaven rings due to the varying air pressure, the Autism Brothers)
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hvcrver · 7 months ago
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i think cheese has rubbed off his "wanting to see prideful men get cucked"-ness onto me, because ratio being </3 at darling yap yap yapping at aventurine (i would in fact yap yap yap at aventurine if he gave me two seconds to ramble) is extremely hilarious
DOUBLY funny if darling is yap yap yapping at aventurine bc ratio nitpicked too much at what they were saying and they just went :/
ratio the moment he hears darling's name leave aventurine's mouth (he's heard enough yapping)
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#crux.txt#i can't remember if you're a moot or not#ermmm!!#chucks the tag at you anyways#oomfies#maybe i'm projectying a bit because if ratio kept interrupting me when i was rambling abt a storyline to him i'd instantly get irritated#HUUUMMMMSSS#w/ ratio i think he'd flip between either just staring intently as his s/o yapped or interjecting w/ questions#i like the latter better bc#ratio has the habit to just. cut ppl off if he doesn't give a shit abt#so i feel like him actually paying attention and asking questions would defos be a sign of interest!!#but depending on when/how/the frequency i would...... GRRRR............. /silly#i wonder how it'd be for you zuri!!#wags wags wags#also random thought too i feel like aven WOULD be the autistic staring#he is listening intently he likes the sound of his s/o's voice#which#is also funny bc if someone says NOTHING when i'm on a discord call w/ them its hard for me to tell if its comfortable#silence or not (i have often been dubbed The Podcast) and the though of#them just like. idk they'd make it a competition if it was both of them trying to vy for you/your attention i think is neat#it'd start w/ ratio falling#aven thinking its funny to fuck w/ him#and then realizing. oh! shit i like them too#anywayhs shutting up shutting up shutting up i got so derailed#like once evert week i crawl into your tags and just word vomit zuri#except its 20x worse this time bc i'm running on two hours of sleep /lh#anywayhs RUNS AWAY RUNHS AWAY RUNS AWAY#hsr#honkai star rail#veritas ratio
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worlds-worst-ships · 5 months ago
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Do you ship it? ((C*nt of the month edition) trying not to get banned)
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Hi Matt! Since I know comedians these days love googling themselves and finding things about them that piss them off so they can whinge on stage about it, I have something to show you. Here's a list of people in history with disabilities who made more of an impact on the world than you could possibly imagine;
1: Michael Bisping, professional MMA fighter, had multiple fights at the highest level on the trot with an impressive win ratio with a missing eye, unbeknownst to anyone but him (would love to see you make fun of him)
2: Albert Einstein, most famed and celebrated professor of the 20th century, was on the autistic spectrum. Gave more to the world in a year than you did in your life.
3: Tim Burton, among the most famous directors, producers and animators in history, revolutionizing goth culture in his long career, is also autistic. He put in far more work than standing on stage and being a dick.
4: Stephen Hawking. Even an idiot like you knows this one. I'll leave it at that.
5: Hellen Keller, was literally deaf and blind for most of her life and was still a famous author. So whats your excuse for writing such shit, tasteless jokes?
6: Zack Gottsagen, an actor with down syndrome, became the first actor with down syndrome to present an Oscar.
7: Stevie Wonder. I imagine even he could see how utterly insufferable modern comedians are.
Nooooow then, lemme guess, "yOu'Re jUsT a PiSsEd oFf TrAnS pErSoN gEtTiNg OFfEnDeD" lemme tell everyone something about myself.
I'm not trans.
I'm straight.
I have no physical disabilities whatsoever.
I actually don't get along with a lot of lgbt people because they're, guess what, PEOPLE, very few of whom I get along with anyway. Its never once been to do with their identities or rights, but purely because, as is the case with every demographic, most of the ones I've met are pricks.
"BuT ThEy GEt OFfEnDeD-" yes, when you deliberately scroll twitter looking for offended lgbt people, you tend to stumble across them. Wouldn't ya know it?
Anyways. Comedy is dog shit. Getting up on stage and deliberately being edgy because you've lived no sort of life away from people who you know you'll offend is not talent. Its something a 14 year old with an inferiority complex would do. Thanks for being another nail in the coffin of actual, watchable comedy.
Oh yeah, and if you want an example on how to actually joke about domestic violence, cross-reference the name "Wilbur" on my blog. See, its funny when you're making fun of the abuser and the fact that they do these things, but not when you mock a victim and make fun of them for having these things happen to them. Never once do I mention his victims, its purely making fun of him and the sheer absurdity of his behavior in the scope of who he is. And we're on Tumblr, literally the symbol of people getting offended, and never once have I gotten backlash for those jokes, so you, as a man with a Netflix special, have no excuse for such lacking creativity.
One last thing, for my readers... anyone wanna bet some petty cash that a woman or three from his past are gonna come out with a few tasty bits of drama about ol' Matty boy, if you know what I mean?
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rockintapper · 8 months ago
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i say stuff about rh characters part 2two
becuase. teehee
the fir1st one, the t3hird one
rhds tiem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!readmore jumpscare
yuka: wair i already d
that frog doll from the tutorial: I give!
note: the jumperrrr
widget: oh its you. yknow your older brother /gn akai mono likes to piss people off sometimes /silly
conductor: jj rpcker questions why you dont move and im glad i can answer her with "he does in megamix"
chorus kids: hi elleon the screaming screamers. theyre ltierally so sikly. but Watch Out
robots (fillbots): the snall one reminds me of coxmo. yall know cozmo? the lil guy and he had cubs that he plays with. and you cn like. and he. cost 200 dolar. the snall rovoNow i feel nostalgic
pop singer (erina): shhehehjdubdmyedrjguexrguderjugdexkvguuggxrwguvvjgkzhdvjgwxd
monkey (fan club): boy stop staring at me your judgemental ass lyour fuckin We're the best fanclSHUT yo stupid ass up fuckin banana lookin headasss i suppose you should jump off a cli
paddler: scare the shit out of me /half sily
blastronaut and shoot-'em-up radio lady: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
inturders: l + ratio + get blasted
captain blue bird: when i heard this lil shit go "STRETCH OUT YOUR NECK" the firsttime i was like WA IT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHIGNG,,, WHHWHAHAYTFAFYA
the blue birds: ok actually. the enitre minigame takes me all the way back to the we are number one rh remix imm so df. s SADDACGFHEVVHG /POS
moai kids: doo-womp womp
moai bird: wait i though you were called seagullx
love lizards: Wonderful cnaracters, HHHHHHORIBBLE minigame. that is all. unles you uh. i mean. listen. leans c,oser to you. what if you flicked for each shake.
stomp farI HHEHDHHHHHJBJFXHEHBSDXJHB. GRABS HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM IT WAS OOONNNEEE MOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE OOOOONENEEEEEE MOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEE
oh god the vegetables again: ok!
moles: pats your head. i know. hes very mean to you guys. i mean. like. i misse dlike One of oyu and stomp farmer gave me A GOD FORSAKEN ok. i know its not his fault its the games. judgement system. but the way he
tj snapper: me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic
tj snapper's girlfriend: me and the goofy guy i pulled by being autistic
the dazzles: stop staring at me im trting my best,,
munchy monk: i call him munchy in my head. he smiles SOOO WIDE in the battle of the bands audience hes so goofy i lov
dj yellow: SCRATCHO
dj blue: i. the lips. the lips. what have the done to you. its gonna be okay. i sure as hell am not drawing you with those big ass lips. hily s
taiko rally squad: DON DOKODOKODON DOKODOKODON kinda unfair how in the try again and ok screens this guy Loses. but in the superb screen BOTH SIDES WIN. PARTICIPATION TROPHY-ASS SHIT
research scientists of love lab: bi4bi. and if youre willing, bi4bi4bi.
the three synchrettes: alley-oop!
dolphins: oh cool dolphins :)
ecto: omg hiiiii helloo litle guyyy i wuv youuu ^_^ kises your snall tiny forehead
booboo: FUCK you FUCK you FUCK you FU
spooky: honestly? i fw him
dog ninja: i wanna cook soup wjf youbyoure soawesome and cool and i lpve you hii doggyyy hi dogy. dohyynkkgunnbuyrctib
mister eagle: thanks for telling me to cut the fruits. i was gonna do that anyway but like. shoutout to you man. props
the frogettes: jj rocker really likes you huh. cant get enough young love rock and roll even
space kicker: hi radar AAGHHHH THE SPACE!!! KI IEKR AAHH ITS HIM INAHIUIBSSYSBIYFIBYDS /VPOS
stepswitcher: love these thangs. i have several of my own thangs. the one i (mc) adore most is the purple thang. his name is mo
JJ ROCLEKEKRKMJ &*;*;&;&$-$×<;^<^<^$ UBGDEBGSCXUGBUSDXGBBHG my eif ei lvoe her so so sp sososososoos muuch foreverrr aheehee giggle. kicks my feet twirls my hair. i think i hauve covid
STUDENT ROKCKONOUCRFUIBCFEJHBGCERBGUSXD MY CHILD HE HAS EVERY DISEASE
airboarder: yeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH LETS GO
seals: wait. whatd you do with the dolphins. where are they. say somethign . Where are thr DOLPH
smiling coin: do i know you
thr cnaract3rs from tunnel the endless game: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i gues. but like. do you really ned a cowbell to keep driving? i mean. just record yourself playing a cowbell and like play it on the radio. just do that. why am i holding a cowbell anc playing the cowbel for YOU. do it yourselfIs she even listening to. m
glass tappers: ths Glass Tappers J SWEWR EVERY TIME I READ THR WORD "TAPPERS"
the thing from rhythmove dungeon: youre. okay. i guess. i only played your endless game once. uh it 's fine. i mean.
clodhopper pickens: youre so full of glee,, id be happy too if my business card made music,,
slot monster: tjen scdrunkly. scdunkyl. scrunkly. sc
octo-pop: WAHAHHA THE. MSUIC SO FAST
beat machine: i barely messed around with this one. it's fine . wish the crowd wasnt so judgemental thogu
beatbag I dont know this one
kappa dj: ive seen you on davidmismol thumbnails and thats basically it lel
okaye wow owwowow owowowo WOWWOWWOW
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koifishanonymous · 9 months ago
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IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. so hsr is a rpg scifi fantasy gacha game (like gambling but you win pretty pngs lmao) practically and the game mechanics are pretty simple, so even someone like me who is notoriously bad at videogames can have a great time!
it has a turn based fighting system, which is love because i’m bad at real time combat lmao and essentially it’s the story of this trailblazer who has basically and a bomb that could explode at anytime inside them, theyre created by this group called the stellaron hunters and dropped off on the herta space station. basically you end up joining the astral express, a group of people who go around on a space train to help people around the universe (hence the star rail)
the game only came out last year like i said so it’s really not too hard to catch up! i started playing in december and finished around early march, there’s only three major arcs out (3rd is ongoing) but tons of companion missions (that i am neglecting)
mostly i really only play for the lore and cool character designs and mechanics, i’m not really wellversed in strategy
and it’s totally doable as a f2p like you can spend money, but you really dont have to not even to get the characters you want
personally, i think the characters that are upcoming are some of the most interesting (acheron, aventurine, sunday, boothill) so great time to going!
red who are these anime/manga bitches youve been reblogging for three days
APOLLO I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED
recently, much to my past-self’s chagrin, i got into honkai star rail, the favourite child video game made by the same people who made genshin impact.
i started playing a while back for this bitch
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his name is dr veritas ratio (yes fr) and he was given as a free five star because hsr won game of the year (it had barely been out for a year)
now one thing about doctor ratio is that he is gay as FUCK
exhibit a
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you might see this and go “red :0 who’s that handsome blonde fella”
and i would answer the bane of my fucking existence because i havent thought about anyone besides him in days. blondie here is aventurine, a debtcollector gambler cursed with infinite good luck and an inferiority complex thinly veiled by an outgoing and obnoxious mask.
so like. exactly my type.
the latest update of the game was basically just. his depressing life’s story intermitted by banter between ratio and aventurine and then he tries to kill himself
but a hot lady who stabbed him said hey you shouldnt kill yourself and he goes why live if there is pain and suffering and we’re going to die anyways and she says check ur pockets :)) and BAM its a note from ratio saying “hahahah youre so sexy dont kill yourself” and then he doesn’t
and like three days later hoyoverse drops this picture and expect me to NOT become deranged about this man
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adrianicsea · 2 years ago
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going for the low-hanging fruit, saw for the movie ask
favorite male character: lawrence gordon my beloved. idk what to even say about him at this point like i've written a 130k and counting fic from his pov! he's everything to me... i just find a lot of resonance in the idea of being someone trapped in their own reputation and someone who's ALWAYS known what they really want out of life, but feels like they aren't allowed to have it or ask for it. i felt that way a lot when i was younger bc i felt like i couldn't come out to ANYONE in my hometown-- it was a smaller town, and my dad was a relatively prominent figure in the community. and also like. i don't really know when or if i would have figured out i'm autistic if i hadn't gotten so attached to lawrence so i have him to thank for that.
favorite female character: amanda! i've said many times that i think she's the most complex character in the series and i will say it many more times to come. she also has the neatest, most resolved narrative arc out of anyone in the franchise, and she's just like. god!!! when the women are deeply flawed and tragic characters and are allowed to be messy and fucked up! LOVE HER! and also at this point i'm convinced that saw X is going to be about her. which is exciting but also scares the ever-loving shit out of me i can't lie
least favorite character: either john or hoffman. john is literally just the devil incarnate he's so hypocritical and vindictive and evil and manipulative. and then hoffman is just like. L + ratio + inconsistent writing/characterization + missed opportunity to offer meaningful narrative critique of police/police fraternity culture + played by costas mandylor
prettiest character: as much as my heart wants to say lawrence the sad fact is he was not having a very good hair day in. well in 1 OR 7 tbh. so i'll say adam because god knows i went through something the first time i saw him sucking on that cigarette
funniest character: based on vibes alone i wanna say strahm bc like legitimately WHAT is his fucking deal. but since i've not seen 4-7 i will say adam. when it gets busy at the saw bathroom and the twink starts getting bitchy and mean
favorite season/movie: it HAS to be saw 1! legendary iconic changed the game etc
favorite episode/scene: probably either the love scene (and subsequently john's awakening) from the first movie or the flashback to amanda setting up the bathroom trap in saw 3. both of them are just such GUT-PUNCHES
favorite romantic ship: chainshipping has my heart, just like adam has lawrence's, now and forever
favorite family relationship: lawrence and diana as far as what's canon, but i do love the more lighthearted take on things where the apprentices are all a big (mostly) happy family
favorite friend ship: adam and amanda..... oh what we could have had
worst ship: i'm tempted to say hoffstrahm but only in the sense that it's a ship of the two worst dudes you know. speaking seriously though i have to say i once saw a fic tagged as hoffman/amanda and my soul was shriven from my body
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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years ago
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TB&TB Anons! Sorry for the delay!
By the way, I updated the Series Masterlist with the summaries/titles for the rest of the parts of the series!
1. Thank you so much, friend! I was really worried about this part so I'm very relieved to hear the praise. Also, that line... I think about it all the time. It must be exhausting. Especially as an Autistic person.
3. Thank you so much! I'm not sure when I'll be able to get the next chapter done because I have self-imposed deadlines and TB&TB is now my lowest performing work (a oneshot will ratio it in less than three hours) 😅 But it is in the works! only 6 more parts to go!
4. Hello my favorite Anon E (don't tell the others)! First, I'm so honored that you've stuck with me this long. You would be greatly missed.
Yeah, he is a fool, alright! It honestly made me imagine what Alex Blake would say to him if she saw him with Bunny.
I personally love giving gifts (and I project on Spencer quite a bit). I was worried it'd be cliche, but I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it!
I personally love giving gifts (and I project on Spencer quite a bit). I was worried it'd be cliche, but I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it!
Hahaha, I definitely couldn't figure out the math to write about it. But thank you for the compliment - characterization is a huge priority of mine. Even when I am admittedly writing him OOC, I try to throw in a few lines here or there for my own sanity.
Not gonna lie, sometimes I write things and gasp. This was one of those lines. I was like "oh, they are gonna eat that up, huh." As for blurting it out, you might be onto something there... Guess you'll have to wait and find out... perhaps even next chapter...
Heheh. He is a dork, through and through.
Ohhh yeah. Dreams have been a running theme in his story, and they will continue to play a big part in it!
I'm a sucker for Icarus. I have an Enemies to Lovers oneshot I'm working on right now called "Icarus and the Moon."
I like to think 'young lady' rubbed off on him from the other men in the BAU. He won't ever admit it, but it did.
Ah, I'm so glad! I rewrote that part a couple times because I thought it sounded confusing. I genuinely barely even remember what I ended up writing.
Soulmates, I say! Soulmates! Twin flames!
He is very hot.
Poor girl was so confused. She trusted her man though.
I wish I was better at writing tension and action scenes! I also know absolutely nothing about poker. Too much math.
She's just his wittle bunny wabbit.
Poor Bunny. She'll get over it pretty quickly though. Just wait.
Spencer is trying his hardest to get her to take charge. Will it work? We'll see... next chapter perhaps...
When she said that wasn't it, she's lying.
It's interesting, the one I threw in there is (apparently) even more impactful than "I love you." I chose it on purpose for people who speak Russian.
That worker had a good day. So did Spencer, to be fair.
It's a reference to the prologue! One of my favorite pieces of writing.
Ha! Perhaps... I will not spoil this one for you.
Poor Lila has no idea the levels of awkwardness that are about to ensue. Girl is just trying to get married.
Yes! Picturing it in my head, it was so fucking funny. I originally had it in Part 25, but I just loved it so much I had to share it earlier. As for Bunny, I think she's mostly in shock. Deep down, she knows that Spencer is smitten with her, but it's hard when all these women have been warning her over and over again about him.
I can't wait for you all to see the wedding. I know it doesn't sound like it now, but I promise you the wedding is VERY sweet. Sickeningly so.
Thank you everyone! I love you all!
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meowmixtape · 4 years ago
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Holy fuck what did charlie do now? Sorry i havent been keeping up w alr lately. Im trying to finish all 1441 pages on her on kiwifarms ik i sound autistic rn
idk how much you know but i’m gonna assume you know what went down with the gaining ground and all that.
cg made an hour-long “apology” video about a week and a half ago in which she addressed gg (stale drama, no one cares, yawn, tbh i skipped that part). she apologized for chikara transformations being offended at being called a dogface. the best part was at the end where she straight-up admitted to being a bitch. she said something like, “when i first started i was still figuring things out but now i’m being more real on camera and i don’t intend to change that.” meaning the nice cg that everyone liked and was on board with at the beginning was a fake. the like-to-dislike ratio is in the tank, looking really amberlynn-ish.
this past week she released two reacts to chantal. according to her a “friend” told her she should release one of the prerecorded reacts (it was filmed back in february, yet she talked about the covid lockdown situation, so uhhh), and if that’s true cg needs to dump that friend stat ��cause i wouldn’t have told her to do that. the dislikes are also plentiful as well as some funny comments. i left one addressing callie’s antisemitism that got deleted. you can read it in a post here. apparently callie has withdrawn support from louis farrakhan, but that still leaves some issues with her in the air:
1. what about the n*zi she "slept with," clickbaited her experience with, and covered up for?
2. why did cg delete that comment instead of just explaining to me what the current situation with callie is? or better yet, leave it up so callie could explain herself.
3. callie still has a history of falsely accusing others of racism to dodge accountability. this is bad in and of itself, but paired with her own racist past she has no leg to stand on.
4. why did callie lie in a tweet about her reaction to louis farrakhan? in the tweet she said she had said "oh he's cool i guess" when in the actual video she went hard for him.
anywho, enough about lyfeofafreesperg, back to cg. just today she released a “direction of my channel” type video. haven’t seen all of it. all i know is she was promising a weigh-in on the 6th and as usual didn’t deliver. tbh at this point cg could be skinny and it still wouldn’t change the fact that she’s a bitch and a hypocrite.
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mugmyremarsh · 5 years ago
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I am hoping for Feral that they actually balance out the membership and F2P system. Animal Jam decreasingly got worse with membership after 2015 (new animals, clothing and don’t get me started with adventures). There are numerous examples of games that offer a lot of F2P offers and still get a good amount of money (because their fanbase is willing to spend). Just hope they are aware that us teenagers/adults don’t have the money to keep buying memberships like our dear parents did.
YEAH. animal jam at thiz point is rly hard 2 play if ur nm like not jus bcos of the lack of things to do and how much is members only but also bcos ppl kinda treat nms differently? i feel like if u see a nm ppl will automatically assume oh theyre unrare simply bcos they cant wear whatever they have. like i do think that trading is a big part of animal jam!! like there are just so many things that could be changed to accommodate nms on animal jam imo.. 1 for the lov ov GOD make some items nm?? there r, so many member items. i think nm should be the majority in terms of items!! 2 theyve done this before but make a pre existing member animal available for nms like even if its an unpopular 1 ppl will kinda lose their shit i think?? 3. make things like the jammer wall, masterpieces (keep mp tokens still jus as an alt currency) n etc nm!! there is literally no reason why a nm should have 2 use an mp 2 make an mp. like....... -_- also i think giving them the jammer wall would kinda revive it even jus for a bit.. also i couldve sworn that when th jammer wall released it ws supposed 2 eventually open up 2 every1??
also like on th topic of things aj could do to improve the game uhmm. improve the way u select items (in trades) 4 THE love of god. i swear if u hav a laggy computer it takes like a fuckin hour 2 even attempt a 20 item trade, like bro jus let me select multiple items at once?? and also smth i thought abt b4 is jus an option 2 quickly throw ur trade list in2 an offer and i think w th discontinuation of some dens... maybe den trading would b fun just the dens not the items inside it :'3 i dont rly like how big tje dens have been, theyre a pain in the ass to decorate n i typically jus give up tbh!!
but uhh let me get back on track (autistic ppl will b liek. *infodumps*) honestly if feral doesnt get the ratio right ill b a litl sad honestly..... maybe a 1 time payment thing could be fine bcos new players would be joining a lot i imagine n my main problem w the aj memberships is that its subscription based (not a fan ngl!!) like bro an animal jam membership costs like the same/more than nintendo switch online LOL... idk if th subscription thing is actually bad or if i just dont think 1 year is a lot in the context of animal jam since ive been playing for 5 years. i dont think feral would do a 1 time payment thing bcos i dunno maybe they dont think itll be a stable source of income? well i present 2 u. real money donations to wild works somewhere on their website. wikipedia, ao3 n im sure tons of others r donation based websites !! with enough ppl it can work out i think. if u donate i think u should get smth but i dont think that something should be tradeable honestly. pitting items u pay 4 and 1s u dont against eachother ppl will see the value in getting a paid for item without paying. dont remember what its called in animal jam but like the blue sword + its set thing u hav 2 pay a lot of money 2 get that is probably th no1 thing they should avoid creating in feral not gonna lie !!! i think at least when the game is officially released itll be ok n then maybe get worse over a time like animal jam.. dunno jfjxjdmk
so in conclusion feral please do not fuck up :'D
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homestuckisautistic · 6 years ago
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Ok y’all I’m back from the beach! Well I’ve been back since the sixth anyway here’s my thoughts on Tyzias and Stelsa! These two are DEFINITELY autistic and tbh I was so worried they were gonna shove Tyzias and Tegiri together but they didn’t and I’m so relieved. I think these two really provide a window into how autistic people tend to interact with politics- especially Stelsa. But we’ll get to that later so for now I’m just gonna say what immediately struck me as being autistic traits. Firstly, Tyzias clearly has a special interest in the justice system and Stelsa’s special interest is definitely in cosmetology. I think it’s interesting how Hiveswap has confirmed that being a lawyer isn’t just an option reserved only for tealbloods if they so choose, but rather it’s mandatory which wasn’t really a vibe I got while reading Homestuck? Oh well. Also the fact that Tyzias is such a sleep deprived workaholic is really relatable. I deal with a similar type of urge to keep working on something until it’s complete and I’ve ended up pushing myself into a meltdown over this a few times, like as a culture we glorify being a workaholic but it’s not fun lmao and despite what it may seem like it’s actually a self destructive behavior and not one that helps much, it’s more anxiety inducing than anything else. Stelsa seems to have a similar type of tendency because she mentions having to do the lawyer stuff AND beautician stuff which is undoubtedly stressful. Also I think their speaking patterns could be related to autism too- like Stelsa just talks at people instead of to them, and while Tyzias’ tendency to slur words is probably partially because she’s so tired all the time it could be an autism thing. Anyway onto how autistic people interact with politics- it’s obvious that Tyzias opposes the empire while Stelsa supports it and this puts a major strain on their relationship. Now I’m not gonna talk about Tyzias too much here because we’ve all gone on the journey to realizing this world is fucked up but Stelsa has yet to do that. Obviously, for us autistics the attitudes present on the right of conformity and shaming the odd have no benefit. However, we all know that autistic conservatives exist and I think the main reason for that is because at the end of the day conservatism is the staus quo. It's what most people are raised to believe and for humans in general but especially for people with rule oriented minds like us, the simplicity of the beliefs on the right are appealing. It's more convenient to believe that things are working out just fine and that it's just a few ungrateful people complaining than to come to the realization that everything is fucked. Like, when anyone raised conservative or raised to be a ~classical liberal~ the ideas of the progressive left seem alien and nonsensical, and when combined with the tendency of the right to misuse occam's razor (usually it goes something like this: which is easier to believe: that there's a complex network of oppression that stifles women's ability to progress within society or that women are just better suited for housework?)it turns into this dangerous echo chamber (lmao the right wing misuses this term so badly but honestly the like to dislike ratio on the average right-of-center youtube video proves how much of a circlejerk it is.) Y'know I was raised a republican and it wasn't until I was about 13 that I came to understand that what I had been told from the moment I could listen was so very wrong. Muslims aren't taking over America and Gay people aren't destroying the family, etc. Anyway, end essay post. - Mod Jessica
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theloniuswomb-blog · 7 years ago
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Spiderman: Homecoming Can Suck My Fucking Dick.
Holy Shit. Where do I even start with this film? I wanted to like it a lot. I was intrigued by the casting of Tom Holland as Spider Man. He came off well in the Marvel Civil War movie, I remember thinking to myself; “Hey! His part was funny! Just the right amount of awkward, slash, comical that I instantly recognize as Spider Man. Awesome!” Now, I usually have doubts about any superhero adaption since the hit to miss ratio is all over the place, but this I thought could work quite nicely.  I saw the trailer, and like the little whore that I am, it got me wet. Wet hot with sexual anticipation. The CGI looked impressive. The action sequences looked crisp and innovative, the tone of the shots were dark and brooding. I expected drama, emotion and a plot-line that, although may not be the most original, could perhaps come through with some good acting and a tight script; with some inspired direction thrown in for good measure. This was the package I was creating for myself in my brain. My golden goose's egg.  And, much like Verruca Salt, I made a big song and dance about it to everyone, throwing glitter and sheets of colored plastic all over the room. But also like Verruca Salt, I also got hit with the trap door. A trap door that golden eggs get shat down, and so do we, right along with em; to burn for all eternity while Gene Wilder laughs at our scorched bodies.  First off, let's start with the tone of the movie. It doesn't have one. It has no idea what kind of movie it wants to be. It's got this light hearted vibe when Spidey is around that feels completely alien to the murky goings on of the Vulture. You get scenes where Peter Parker is walking through the school, drooling over hot girls in the most forced and gormless way. (SPOILER: Most of the film is of Tom Holland looking gormless at everyone around him.) Juxtaposed with Michael Keaton straight up killing people in the most nonchalant way possible. It's kind of infuriating, it was like there were two movies going on in tandem and neither of them had any particular relevance to the other. I must say, Michael Keaton gave a fairly decent performance, but he could have been used so much better. I saw Birdman recently (something I couldn't ignore as a massive, quite probably intended irony of Keaton's career) and I was impressed. I had problems with that film too (But I'll leave that for another review) but overall the acting was really fucking solid. Like I say, I was impressed. But obviously, good acting doesn't matter anymore for films like this. I honestly thought the newer incarnations of Batman would have taught a lesson to the makers of these kinds of movies. But obviously not.  Let's get to Peter. Peter is the most insufferable character ever. He's meant to be very smart, yet doesn't use his brain once. Not only does he not use his brain to problem solve, but he doesn't use it for introspection at all. The amount of times he puts other people's lives at risk in this movie is astounding. If this feature of the plot was used as a tool to move Peter's character forward as he matures into a new and exciting world, I can forgive this whole problem. In fact, that's kind of what I wanted to see. Progression. But it never comes. Spider Man sees bad guys robbing the bank. He attacks, not even stopping when he realizes they have incredibly powerful weapons. He carries on and ends up blowing up a deli over the street of a man that earlier in the movie is established, that he knows. Not once does he show any remorse for this horrible incident. He ruined a man's career, livelihood, and potentially could have killed him if he happened to live above the shop.
In another instance, Parker sees bad guys driving; he attacks them on the highway where loads of other people could die from all the high tech weapons going off at high speeds. He knew the types of weapons they had but did it anyway. He could have followed them to their destination, found out where the base was, who was involved in the organization and work out a plan. He could even find out the buyers if he cased them for a few weeks. But this thought never crosses Peters mind. It's just attack all problems in the face until they die. I mean fuck, this is a whiz kid of physics and science, some of the most logical shit ever. Yet he can't even think up a simple fucking plan to take on his enemies? Honestly, it's so hard to relate to Peter in this movie. You'd have to be some kind of autistic sociopath in order to find him tolerable. After a while Tony Stark comes along. Fuck me, Robert Downey Jr. couldn't give one flying fuck about this movie. And it showed like hell. His whole character in the film was just him playing himself not caring in various tropical places. I honestly believe Tony Stark represented how little of a fuck the writers and director cared about this film. He was a direct mouthpiece for the writers of the movie to say “fuck you” to the audience. Honestly, every time Parker fucked up, Tony would say “Oi, Parker, stop fuckin around!” but never explains why. He never says “Hey, you could have killed people back there! Are you insane?” instead he half asses his reasons and when Parker questions him on it he just says “because I said so.” Like fuck, you'd think after the first time Spidey fucks up, that's the time to sit down and talk. Jesus Christ should you even wait for a first-time-fuck-up in this scenario? Tony Stark, one of the smartest men alive, waits for Spidey to fuck up three times, THREE TIMES, with the third seeing spider man nearly sinking a whole ship of people due to his negligence. Hundreds would have died. It's incredible.
So, Iron Man finally gives some punishment after this. He takes away Parkers new shiny Stark Spidey Suit, to which Parker says “I'm nothing without that suit!” to which Stark replies; “if you're nothing without this suit, you don't deserve it.” or something to that effect. Instead of Peter having a moment of clarity and saying “fuck, people nearly died, I nearly died. Maybe I need to switch up my game and show Iron Man I'm more mature than this. Show I can use some strategy and grow into this role I'm destined to have and finally use my genius brain to devise a plan.” Nope. That's wishful thinking partner and you can get shot around here for that kinda talk.  Instead what we get is Parker learning nothing, and him creating some kind of device that allows him to go out and fuck up even faster and directly than before. They use some kind of tracker map to find the Vulture, who is breaking into an airplane full of Stark weapons. An Iron Suit included. Now, what the actual fuck? I don't know if the Vulture knows this, but Iron Man can remotely control his suits. If one were stolen, you can bet your bottom dollar he'd activate it and cane your operation into next week. But the Vulture MUST have known that, since he remotely controlled his own mechanical wings to try and kill Parker earlier in the movie. So what in the actual fuck is this man doing? He's inviting Iron Man into his lair. Willingly. It's the most stupid thing ever. It also gives so little motivation for Parker to do anything about the situation. Once he realizes it's Stark tech, he should have left. Because Parker also knows Iron Man remotely controls his suits, there's a whole scene that points this out near the beginning of the film for fuck's sake. The Vulture would have been a goner immediately upon the knowledge of the hijacking. It's easily the most retarded part of the film.   So Spidey decides to go all-in despite knowing Iron Man could easily kill this guy remotely and nearly ends up causing this plane to crash all over the city, no doubt killing thousands of people. In fact, an engine falls out while they're fighting on the plane's wings. Parker shows no regard for that at all. No remorse for the people that no doubt were killed by the falling debris. Fortunately, Spidey manages to use his webs to bend the out-of-control plane wing and steer them to safety. (Well, he crashes the plane into a sandbank.) He takes down the Vulture and leaves him tangled at the scene old school Spidey style, with a note to boot. Wow. How amazing. And he did it all without his shiny suit! He overcame so many obstacles and shortcomings, we really went on a journey there with old Petey boy there. Oh wait, that was the film I was daydreaming about while I was being shat on by this movie. Upon Stark learning of this situation, he instantly has Spider Man brought to the new headquarters of the Avengers, where he was about to announce Spider Man as a new, key member, along with an even better shiny suit. Like, what? Seriously? This kid needs a dressing down, not a new three piece. But it doesn't come. All we get is Parker declining the offer, you get a mild sense that he realizes that he's in over his head, and maybe this is all a bit much for him. But it's not really expressed very well. It all feels so odd and disjointed. I mean here we have Iron Man, the guy who cared about people dying from collateral damage in Civil War; who hunted down the Winter Soldier because he was a danger to the public, (who also for some reason killed Tony's parents,) caused a rift with the current most powerful heroes and his teammates, as he also wanted them to register their identities to an official data base to help reign them in and hold them accountable. Yet for some reason Tony couldn't give the time of day to say “Hey kid, tone it down you're getting crazy out there.”  I'll stop ragging on the film soon, but before I do, I want to mention the love interest. This was one of the most wooden romances I've ever seen. No chemistry. She was called Lizzy. It turns out Mary Jane is the other sarcastic girl who makes the closest things to jokes in the movie. Which I liked, but they didn't do nearly enough with. Again, there was an opportunity for him to grow with this character, have his attention turned to MJ, have him realize this Lizzy girl was a bit vacuous and boring, while this other girl was interesting and fun. But again it didn't happen. Instead, Lizzy moves away because of plot reasons that I won't give away, and MJ is merely hinted at as the new romance for the next film. Which is fucking boring. Honestly, it's so dull. I hated all the romance scenes. I wanted to like them, I mean shit, the girl was so hot. They even get an ass shot of her in her bikini. I was like “wow these are meant to be 15-year-old kids, what are they thinking? Isn’t this inappropriate for a kids movie?” (They are not 15-year-old kids, just to clarify. But for the plot, they were). They could have used this screen time to have Peter reflecting on his Uncle Ben, or bonding with his Aunty. Who, in my opinion, should have been told about the Spider Man thing. I think her knowing earlier in the film would have been a good dynamic to use. He should have told her right away after his first fuck up. I know it might deviate from traditional Spider Man lore, but as a film, it would've been a much more interesting watch. Aunt May is such a central figure to the Spider Man universe, as is the Uncle Ben storyline, but neither are given any sort of focus. Overall this film is garbage. In true Warski style, it was Garbage. Full on trash. I hated Guardians of the Galaxy less, and that's saying something. That is really saying something. Because that movie was awful. For Spider Man I have to say: the overall plot was good, but there were so many missed opportunities that it became more like a midlife crisis by the end. The choices to make for this story seemed so obvious, it was almost like they were purposefully not taking the logical steps in the narrative in order to make this movie as painful as possible. (Because the razor wire they'd jammed way up in your ass, to the tune of £13.50 for 3D, just wasn't quite painful enough.) Fuck this movie, nobody should see it, I hope it fucking bombs in the box office. Which it won't because, like the little whores that we are, we're all just gonna fan-boy for Spidey like we always do. I honestly regret spending money on this. Don't even buy the DVD, it's not worth it.
Before I go I need to mention something else; humor. Peter was not funny. He had moments of fun, sure. But he was not funny. Peter Parker is witty. He is known for wit, not fun. Again, this could have been used as a plot device to show his coping mechanism for dealing with such raw shit all the time. He exudes wit and comedy in the face of danger, then behind closed doors doubts himself. Like fuck, is a 15-16 year old really meant to be doing this shit? Getting involved in weapon trafficking and the criminal world after his Uncle Ben being shot and killed? As an aside, thank god they didn't make us re-live Uncle Ben's death. I was glad they kept that as a past event that we didn't need to see. One of the few good touches of the film. You could say it was like wiping just a bit of shit off your arse with your finger. There's not quite as much shit there anymore, but now it's on your finger, so. There you go.  So, what's my ultra biased and not subjective at all, star rating for this film? 1.5 out of 5. Some action was good, the 3D sucked, the acting sucked, the writing sucked, the CGI was good, Michael Keaton was good, everyone else didn't give a shit and ultimately it showed. Don't see this film. Boycott it harder than Isreal.
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askadrugnerd · 7 years ago
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Let’s Pretend People On r/drugs/ Want My Opinions Pt. 1
Is there any drug better than alcohol for hitting on girls?
Maybe phenibut? Maybe cocaine if you guys are into that? I dunno, not that many. It’s a classic for a reason.
Watched a Guy Inject Mountain Dew and Meth
I’m gonna say maybe don’t hang out with him again?
Is it possible to get high on pesticides?
Oh dear god no please do not try.
The more dangerous drugs make me feel good and others make me nervous and paranoid and my life's shit so I'm kinda worried
Oof. Right in the feels. Yeah, that can happen when you have depression/anxiety and I wish it was the sort of thing you could give useful advice on. The fact that you’re self-aware enough to realize this early makes me hopeful that you’ll do alright. If you can already sense that certain drugs could be a problem for you, you can steer yourself away from situations where you’ll be tempted to do them. Pull back on hanging out with people who do them, delete a certain dealer’s number from your phone, make a conscious choice to do something different instead. And please don’t be afraid to tell somebody if you feel like you’re spiraling out of control. *hugs*
What happens when an individual with autism takes medical marijuana?
They get high? I actually have no idea how it would be different, but I would love to hear from someone who has autism about their experience! There are also some people using CBD to “treat” autism, but you seem to only ever hear from parents of autistic kids and not from patients themselves, so I don’t have a good idea of the promising science to hippie bullshit ratio.
What’s phenibut supposed to do?
In the parts of the world where phenibut is a prescription drug, it’s basically intended to be an anti-anxiety medication that fucks you up less than Xanax. So that’s what it does. If you are generally not an anxious person, the effects might be so subtle you barely notice. If you do have anxiety you will probably like it a lot.
Does cocaine use change your body odor?
Taking stimulants can make you extra sweaty, so it’s probably that? Go take a shower.
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evelyntransitions-blog · 7 years ago
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Day 50??? Part 1-Why I hate people and think they’re dumb as fuck.
Counting days is hard, if you’re me and kinda stupid. So a lot of things happened. A lot of BIG things. First off we got me seeing my psychiatrist. I got my letter for Estrogen (which is kinda pointless, because I already own Estrogen). She explained that what she and the Therapist were looking for was consistency, that-that’s why he was being so intrusive more than likely. I was still kind of pushy and she got a little uppity explaining that she’d get people in her office that would come in one day literally crying and then months later change their mind. It makes sense. I still wish the therapist wouldn’t have ask about my presentation. The psychiatrist explained that due to me possibly being autistic that maybe I wouldn’t dress as feminine right out of the gate, that i’d “avoid bullshit” as I call it. I attempted to tell her that maybe I just want to do things at my own pace, and she said that was okay. She was being sincere, but I can’t help feeling there’s a fuck ton of bias behind all these doctors. I even remarked “Non-binary people who come in must have a hell of a time.” She nodded. (I’m not non binary but yeah). My impression is that the psychatrist gets things, but doesn’t fully get things. She can understand being a tomboy to some degree but seems to think it’s autistic for me to not present fully as female. Like maybe not changing my voice immediately. She said some girls are like that but it’s a lot of explaining to people who you are. 
I think society needs to dump their biases in the trash, and just leave people alone.  Most people are quiet and don’t bother others in general, so I don’t get what’s with all the judging. Everyone says they value “Independence” but when they actually see what it looks like they go into a panic or want to understand. Going with the flow is dead, as is just be and let be. It’s buried next to express yourself, think for yourself, and my favorite it do what it do/it is what it is. They lay 6 feet under a graveyard labeled “Here lies the human spirit” misplaced at 101 Autism Dr. Granted there are people with Autism, that’s undeniable, but I must question how many autism diagnosis are given to people that are just misunderstood or in the most snotty way I must say, more intelligent than the masses. Here’s my reasoning as to why I don’t dress the way people want me to immediately.  *People are going to question me no matter what. *It would make more sense to dress effeminate  when I look effeminate to avoid bullshit before hand *I want to dress feminine to embrace my body when it develops. I want to feel fully female and am self critical, because, oh I don’t know i’m human BUT EVELYN, BODY DYSPHORIA . WOULDN’T EVELYN DRESS GIRLY TO COMBAT ASAP DERP-DERP? WHY YOU NO SAME AS OTHER GIRLS? Because very dumb person, despite the existence of body dysphoria dealing with my inner mind is easier than dealing with other people. BUT EVELYN, WHY TRANSITION IN FIRST PLACE. DERP-DERP.
Because very dumb person, the ratio of dysphoria from people’s judgement is higher from other people’s opinions than my own. I have a brain that thinks about a million things, whereas people who see me dress feminine will judge me. If i’m judged by wearing female clothes i’m put in a position where I must think about dysphoria, whereas if i’m not I can suppress the dysphoria for a while until it happens. I want to deal with less dsyphoria as opposed to more. HOWEVER I HAVE TO transition to get rid of the physical aspect of dysphoria to eliminate most of it, and just have to deal with the social. Not to mention, ideally i’ll present as fully female to eliminate the dysphoria almost entirely. This seems long and elaborate. A not completely dumb person would say Well that’s a lot of fucking thinking to come to that conclusion. Your psychatrist has a point. ONLY you would know that.  That’s where your wrong though. It’s a matter of EMPATHY. You know that thing that’s dying in the United States? That thing that also makes the far-right call the left autistic for, because they lack it. Full circle. A person with Empathy would understand how I feel, and here’s how. -Evelyn seems to not want to dress feminine all the time . I have ideas why, but I got to put those on hold, because I don’t know her, and assuming makes an ass out of you and me. She knows herself enough to make big decisions like transitioning and seems to always feel this way, she must know what she’s doing (Psychiatrist got on this track, but faultered) [Respect route]  -She as a trans woman struggles with identity stuff, maybe her way of self discovery is a process of experimentation, she can have an idea of where she wants to be, but is still trying things, and that’s okay (you’re kind of wrong, but this reasoning is more commendable and more on the right track) [Normal Route] -Just because she’s a girl, maybe her idea of a girl is different than the masses. She can decide accordingly what she does. Maybe dysphoria is a condition that makes her feel less like a girl, and is more relative to her existence than always pleasing society. That maybe being a woman is more than pleasing a society and reacting with it, and to some degree it’s a personal thing. That humans are more than their place in the world. [Existential route] MOST PEOPLE TOUCH BASE WITH THESE TYPES OF REASONING. EXPAND ON THAT, AND STOP JUDGEING PEOPLE AND YOU’D GO PLACES. JUDGING DOESN’T DO SHIT. IT HOLDS YOU BACK. BREAK THOSE GOD DAMN CHAINS. EASY AS FUCK. FEELING->THINKING (except in economics and math. Sometimes in problem solving). CASE AND POINT. EVEN IF YOU DON’T TOTALLY UNDERSTAND SOMETHING YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW THEY FEEL, BECAUSE YOU FEEL THINGS. PEOPLE WHO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND AREN’T AUTISTIC OR HAVE SOME KIND OF MENTAL ILLNESS YOU’RE JUST BEING FUCKING STUPID AND A GOD DAMN ROBOT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Edit/Additional: I don’t think autistic people stupid, or non-autistic people are stupid. I just don’t like people thinking others they don’t understand are automatic are automatically autistic. 
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